We were just kids. We said when we were 15 that if we weren't married by 30, we would marry one another. And now, there you are - and here I am - in two completely different places in life. We're just as distant as we ever were, even when your face was on my chest. I haven't seen you in years, but I feel your security. If you're not there in marriage already, you're getting there; you were always very determined to be with someone special.
I have no idea where you are on the road of life, but my guess is you're even more complex and becoming more like your Dad by the day. I'll always care about you, no matter how crazy I acted over the years while I was still using. You never loved me because you knew I was batshit. Smart man.
Sometimes, I look over my shoulder when I'm riding in the bike lane and I imagine you and your girl pulling up next to me without recognizing me. I hide behind my sunnies and helmet, and I move on to the next daydream of the man in my life who will be more inspiring and cooler than you were back then. I will feel that muse come alive again. It's been far, far too long. 10 years of fog lifting now...watch me grow.
I have no idea where you are on the road of life, but my guess is you're even more complex and becoming more like your Dad by the day. I'll always care about you, no matter how crazy I acted over the years while I was still using. You never loved me because you knew I was batshit. Smart man.
Sometimes, I look over my shoulder when I'm riding in the bike lane and I imagine you and your girl pulling up next to me without recognizing me. I hide behind my sunnies and helmet, and I move on to the next daydream of the man in my life who will be more inspiring and cooler than you were back then. I will feel that muse come alive again. It's been far, far too long. 10 years of fog lifting now...watch me grow.
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